The Answers I'm Afraid Of
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I'm searching, though I find myself blind.
Running around, losing my mind.
I find that I'm trapped by societies bind.
What are the answers I'm afraid of?
Why am I scared? Terrified?
Why do I say, "Have confidence," and always lie?
Why should I care about anyone but me, myself and I?
What are the answers I'm afraid of?
I can't get out the courage, even to speak.
Every time I try, I get surprised, and my knees get weak.
This is all overwhelming; my brain's starting to leak.
What are the answers I'm afraid of?
She'll say I'm a loser, my comments don't matter.
She'll run to her friends and begin the secret chatter.
She'll be disgusted that someone like me put his heart on a platter.
These are the answers I'm afraid of...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Actual Plan
A true chessmaster never reveals his plans. But I'm not a true chessmaster. You may realize I'm not starting my post in the same cheery fashion. I won't end it the same either. I thought that it was about time I told my plan to everyone. Hate. Powerful thing, isn't it? I got a text from Gemma today basically saying "I'm sick of you anyway and you do the same shit you give us shit for." First I think it's amazing that this is what my friends always though of me before this went down. "I'm sick of you anyway..." Go figure eh?
Second, I do do the same shit. My opinions don't change. I, too, am a worthless, useless mess. Unfit for this world. Unfit for anything. People shouldn't be around me. And that's the plan. I get them to hate me, but my words are still in their head. They don't want to be like me. They have motivation. Not to mention, they won't get better if they're my friends.
I almost dropped to my knees and cried today. Cried after Gemma's string of texts and insults. All true, doesn't make them any less painful. I miss her...I miss all of them. I want to drop to my knees again in front of them and apologize and beg for them to come back. But my dignity and my plan are worth more. This is better. Gemma, Gwen, Kia, everyone...*sigh*...oh well.
Till next post everyone. Stay...away...
And that's the 411.
Second, I do do the same shit. My opinions don't change. I, too, am a worthless, useless mess. Unfit for this world. Unfit for anything. People shouldn't be around me. And that's the plan. I get them to hate me, but my words are still in their head. They don't want to be like me. They have motivation. Not to mention, they won't get better if they're my friends.
I almost dropped to my knees and cried today. Cried after Gemma's string of texts and insults. All true, doesn't make them any less painful. I miss her...I miss all of them. I want to drop to my knees again in front of them and apologize and beg for them to come back. But my dignity and my plan are worth more. This is better. Gemma, Gwen, Kia, everyone...*sigh*...oh well.
Till next post everyone. Stay...away...
And that's the 411.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Love lives ruin life
Really emo-ish title? Sayings that are supposed to mean something? Actions that are supposed to mean something? Line up in a row mother fuckers cuz it's time for a Massacre!
I've really been thinking of adding some theme music in this thing.
Well my ex-girlfriend has found a new love. He's "oh so perfect and it feels like ages". I know that not every girl does this but I absolutely HATE the girls that will say "I love you" or "I'll be with you forever" or "You're my world" to ANY guy they're with. Same goes for guys who say that to girls. Kitty has said it about me and Ghebfant. She'll say it to the other 250 guys she's with.
It's funny. She tries to say "Mom made me wear it (the slutty top to the all guys party)". That's honestly hilarious. I know her mom, I've fought her for years. She'd never in a million years do that. Kitty made the choice to wear the prostitutes clothes.
Now am I the only one thinking that kissing and sex should only be with someone you love? Am I wrong for thinking it? Thinking, as Zera likes to say, in the Medieval ages? Well guess what? I'm the Medieval Massacre bitches, take a hint! The very first terminology for sex was "Making LOVE" and kissing is something you do with someone you like. And even if you DO like that person, it's really crude to take them away from their friends during a party so you can do it. If you don't want to be here, if you'd rather make out, then go do it at your house! We're not a brothel! I don't think Ippo or Zera care but whatever, this isn't their blog.
And then the little slutty bitch decides that, because she's not getting to me, she's going to attack Katherine (my new and better girlfriend whom Kitty has never and WILL never meet (for her own safety)) on HER blog. How can someone like her even THINK of insulting a true woman like Katherine? It's hilarious!
Now for the good stuff...I got a new phone...I got glasses...hmm...that's about it...yeah...life sucks.
So until next time folks, stay smart, stay strong and stay clean!
And that's the 411.
I've really been thinking of adding some theme music in this thing.
Well my ex-girlfriend has found a new love. He's "oh so perfect and it feels like ages". I know that not every girl does this but I absolutely HATE the girls that will say "I love you" or "I'll be with you forever" or "You're my world" to ANY guy they're with. Same goes for guys who say that to girls. Kitty has said it about me and Ghebfant. She'll say it to the other 250 guys she's with.
It's funny. She tries to say "Mom made me wear it (the slutty top to the all guys party)". That's honestly hilarious. I know her mom, I've fought her for years. She'd never in a million years do that. Kitty made the choice to wear the prostitutes clothes.
Now am I the only one thinking that kissing and sex should only be with someone you love? Am I wrong for thinking it? Thinking, as Zera likes to say, in the Medieval ages? Well guess what? I'm the Medieval Massacre bitches, take a hint! The very first terminology for sex was "Making LOVE" and kissing is something you do with someone you like. And even if you DO like that person, it's really crude to take them away from their friends during a party so you can do it. If you don't want to be here, if you'd rather make out, then go do it at your house! We're not a brothel! I don't think Ippo or Zera care but whatever, this isn't their blog.
And then the little slutty bitch decides that, because she's not getting to me, she's going to attack Katherine (my new and better girlfriend whom Kitty has never and WILL never meet (for her own safety)) on HER blog. How can someone like her even THINK of insulting a true woman like Katherine? It's hilarious!
Now for the good stuff...I got a new phone...I got glasses...hmm...that's about it...yeah...life sucks.
So until next time folks, stay smart, stay strong and stay clean!
And that's the 411.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cutting out bad blood
Beat a Wii game in 30 minutes? Breaking a demo in the process? Cutting facebook friends in half? BOWLING!? Bitches best not test, it's time for a Massacre.
Let's start off good and end off good. Me, Person6 and Nitron decided to chyll after school one day and go walking across the creek. Very peaceful and the water is CLEAN! You won't find that in Malton at all. We checked out the Brunswick Lanes for a future triple-date bowling outing. Then we went trolling around the DVD's in WalMart while P6 got a tire pump for his bike. SO MANY GOLDEN COMPASS COPIES! Then we went to the indoor McDonalds to get a couple of bacon cheeseburgers and a McFlurry. We decided to walk over to the Gamestop when we were done and saw that the Wii demo available to play was New Super Mario Bros. Wii. You could only play the first 3 levels. Oh really? Nitron begs to differ! He went to a warp zone in Level 1 to go straight to Level 5! Broke the f***ing demo! From Level 5 he warped to Level 8. From Level * he shortcutted to Bowser's Castle. We headed home afterward, which is when I caught the 14 heading in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION! I fixed it and then went home.
Now for negatives. Gwen is skipping class again with Abigail. Throwing their education out of the window. I decided to cut them and all other smokers, druggies, drinkers, skippers and all around dipshits from my life, msn and facebook. 78 "friends" turned to 35 friends. Go figure eh? They broke the law again, coming to our school. I informed a teacher and our principle will make sure that they never come back. We're better without law breakers. Process of Elimination.
On Saturday it's gonna be really nice. I kinda bailed on Ryan's party but I'm going to see Katherine so it's worth it. We're gonna have fun. I wanna be with her all day^^. A little fun outside, in the rain, watch Underworld in my room back at my place. I love her so much!
Until next post people! Keep clean. Keep smart. Keep strong.
And that's the 411.
Let's start off good and end off good. Me, Person6 and Nitron decided to chyll after school one day and go walking across the creek. Very peaceful and the water is CLEAN! You won't find that in Malton at all. We checked out the Brunswick Lanes for a future triple-date bowling outing. Then we went trolling around the DVD's in WalMart while P6 got a tire pump for his bike. SO MANY GOLDEN COMPASS COPIES! Then we went to the indoor McDonalds to get a couple of bacon cheeseburgers and a McFlurry. We decided to walk over to the Gamestop when we were done and saw that the Wii demo available to play was New Super Mario Bros. Wii. You could only play the first 3 levels. Oh really? Nitron begs to differ! He went to a warp zone in Level 1 to go straight to Level 5! Broke the f***ing demo! From Level 5 he warped to Level 8. From Level * he shortcutted to Bowser's Castle. We headed home afterward, which is when I caught the 14 heading in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION! I fixed it and then went home.
Now for negatives. Gwen is skipping class again with Abigail. Throwing their education out of the window. I decided to cut them and all other smokers, druggies, drinkers, skippers and all around dipshits from my life, msn and facebook. 78 "friends" turned to 35 friends. Go figure eh? They broke the law again, coming to our school. I informed a teacher and our principle will make sure that they never come back. We're better without law breakers. Process of Elimination.
On Saturday it's gonna be really nice. I kinda bailed on Ryan's party but I'm going to see Katherine so it's worth it. We're gonna have fun. I wanna be with her all day^^. A little fun outside, in the rain, watch Underworld in my room back at my place. I love her so much!
Until next post people! Keep clean. Keep smart. Keep strong.
And that's the 411.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Several Weeks Later...
Time skip people! Shit's about to go down...it's time for a Massacre!
Well I'm with Katherine now as of April 6th. I love her and I'm so happy with her. As you can guess, I dumped the cheating, self-centered, slutty broad that I WAS with and now she's apparently whoring herself off to ANOTHER one of my friends. Like I care, I just wish they wouldn't do it when we're in a party and are supposed to be friends and hanging out together. Ippo's house is not a brothel!
I haven't seen Katherine in a while but we should see each other next weekend. I'm bringing Underworld because vampires turn her on. ^^ Who thinks I should bite her during the movie when she least expects it? Hehe.
I'm selling my animes again. Ryan is buying Rosario + Vampire Season 2 from me and Neo is buying the same one except both seasons. $45 bucks total. Only $40 I can use though. $5 I'm using for...yep you guessed it...more CD's. Ok you probably didn't guess that. Anyway I have $40 so far for Anime North.
Anime North! I might have found someone to cosplay as! Fairly inexpensive and widely known, ladies and gentlemen let me welcome, GENDO IKARI! From the hit anime written by Hideaki Anno, Neon Genesis Evangellion, Gendo is best known for planning the deaths of his family and co-workers, cloning his wife and then cloning her clones, and crossing his fingers in from of his mouth to reduce mouth-moving budget for the animators. I have his suit and his rose-colored glasses. Now i need the white gloves and the beard. Easy enough.
Well who knows when I'll write again. Till then folks, keep clean and keep strong!
And that's the 411.
Well I'm with Katherine now as of April 6th. I love her and I'm so happy with her. As you can guess, I dumped the cheating, self-centered, slutty broad that I WAS with and now she's apparently whoring herself off to ANOTHER one of my friends. Like I care, I just wish they wouldn't do it when we're in a party and are supposed to be friends and hanging out together. Ippo's house is not a brothel!
I haven't seen Katherine in a while but we should see each other next weekend. I'm bringing Underworld because vampires turn her on. ^^ Who thinks I should bite her during the movie when she least expects it? Hehe.
I'm selling my animes again. Ryan is buying Rosario + Vampire Season 2 from me and Neo is buying the same one except both seasons. $45 bucks total. Only $40 I can use though. $5 I'm using for...yep you guessed it...more CD's. Ok you probably didn't guess that. Anyway I have $40 so far for Anime North.
Anime North! I might have found someone to cosplay as! Fairly inexpensive and widely known, ladies and gentlemen let me welcome, GENDO IKARI! From the hit anime written by Hideaki Anno, Neon Genesis Evangellion, Gendo is best known for planning the deaths of his family and co-workers, cloning his wife and then cloning her clones, and crossing his fingers in from of his mouth to reduce mouth-moving budget for the animators. I have his suit and his rose-colored glasses. Now i need the white gloves and the beard. Easy enough.
Well who knows when I'll write again. Till then folks, keep clean and keep strong!
And that's the 411.
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