If Wishes Were Fishes

You know...the above heading of this post doesn't really make sense. The plural to fish is fish, not fishes. Although both words are recognized. I guess they both work. Well, ignore my ramblings at about 3:30 in the morning. Just something I had to get off my chest.

Oxford Dictionary defines a wish as:

• verb; desire something that cannot or probably will not happen.

Well this explains my life in a nutshell. One giant wish. In this post I'm going to open up to the entire world and say all of my wishes. I have nothing to hide. Nothing to fear. Nothing to lose. Because anything to do with wishes usually comes in threes, here are my top three wishes:

1. Possibly my biggest wish in the world is that I wish to be a girl. I've been told several times by those I've confided in in the past that a sex change operation can be arranged. But that's not what I wish for, or it would be a want and not a wish. What I wish for is to somehow magically turn into a genuine female. Real breasts, may they be big or small, I could care less. Periods. Child birth. Then I could wear their clothes. This is where I start sounding like a closet Drag-Queen but really I'm not. I love a woman's clothes. Silks, cottons, reds, purples, pinks. But mostly...dresses...blouses...pure beauty. A man's clothes don't portray beauty. Men aren't supposed to be beautiful. Zera and the others wonder why I like Moe girls so much in anime. The answer is simple. I see myself in them. My true self. What I want to be. What I should be. But that isn't reality. And so I walk along this putrid world in the body I was forcefully given. I didn't choose then, and I can't choose now. I can't choose this.

2. Although I'm an avid advocate of the law and would never change that for anyone, I wish my life had more excitement to it. I watch my animes where they're fighting bad guys and being a hero. That's not it though. I want to do something wild, crazy, stupid, spontaneous, yet legal. Something like going on a road trip. With a bunch of my friends. Not knowing where we'll end up or who we'll meet or when we'll get home or even IF we get home. I hate not knowing things but secretly I just want to wake up somewhere and go "What might happen to me today?". But that isn't reality. So I lead my same boring lifestyle day after day. I can't choose this.

3. I wish for all alcohol and drugs to be non-existent. I'm so sick of seeing these druggies and drunks out there destroying their lives and the lives of others they corrupt, like small, innocent, easily impressionable children. Why should they have to suffer? It's not their fault that this has become the norm. Even the cops don't really care. It happens everywhere in broad daylight and no-one is there because no-one cares. What can I do? Run to a cop. "Ok kid we'll get right on it," and then they go eat another cruller. I'm sick of having to analyze every new friend I have to see if they're one of them. Having to be scared if they're lying to me. I see stupidity and weakness in this vile, disgusting human race nowadays. I wish I could end it all; wipe it from the earth. But that isn't reality. So I walk along the smoke-filled ditches of this earth, never fully trusting a soul. I can't choose this.

You want the 411?
Here's the closest you'll ever get.